My Dream Last Night, Wherein I Insulted Natalie Portman
My dream last night went something like this:
I was at my parents' house, in the backyard. My parents have three acres, so it's a big yard. There are goats and alpacas and chickens and ducks and a pig back there. It's pretty awesome.
The father (or maybe the grandfather; I'm not sure) of one of my old elementary school classmates was doing some gardening, and trying to get me and my friend to help him out or do some work or something. I think. This part was pretty hazy.
Suddenly we noticed a zebra in the backyard. That was weird. Then there turned out to be a ton more zebras. They kept streaming through the gate, until there were like 20 of them or something. We were really confused.
I went inside. A guy from my church was there, along with a few other people. I'm not sure who was all there. The guy from my church had an iPad and was holding it up to his ear, trying to listen to a radio report about the zebras. We were all confused together.
I went up to one of the zebras and saw that there was a hole in its neck, where I could see a human face. Turned out all of the zebras were people in costumes.
Then there was one of those leaps that dreams take, and I'm not sure how the transition went, but there ended up being a bunch of people in the backyard LARPing. (LARPing, or Live-Action Role-Playing, is where people dress up in period costumes, usually with a magic and fantasy theme, and have fights and wars with certain rules about how the combat works, and some scripts for what the heroes are trying to do, and stuff like that.)
It turned out that the leader of the evil LARPing army was Natalie Portman. I'm not sure if her side was winning or not, but a bunch of really old city buses showed up (I assumed they had rented them cheap from somewhere) and the losing side started retreating to the buses and getting in so they could run away.
Natalie Portman came up on our deck, chasing after one of the "good guys," and I decided I had to help him, so I went out there to see what I could do. Natalie Portman attacked me or something (I'm not sure, exactly), and she ended up grabbing me I think, so that we were really close to one another, and she asked me if I was comfortable with it or if I felt it was inappropriate. And I said something along the lines of, "Don't worry about it; my fiancée is much more attractive than you, anyways." What I meant by that was that she didn't have to worry that she was going to be stealing me away from someone or anything, because I was so dedicated to Larissa that there was no risk of that happening. But I think it was kind of mean for me to say that to Ms. Portman, so I feel bad about it.
That was my dream. Weird and rambling, but it's rare that I remember one so well, so I decided to write it down. Take what you can from it. Maybe it's an omen. An omen of something really weird.
The Pseudosciences
What's your favourite abandoned or outdated "science"?
I'm talking about things like phrenology (the study of the shape of a person's skull and the effects that has on their life and personality) and alchemy (the study of how to artificially create gold, among other substances). Wikipedia's pseudoscience entry also mentions homeopathy and "medical quackery" among the pseudosciences, and I think it's appropriate to throw astrology in there, as well.
I've always been partial to phrenology, because it's fun to think of what things would be like if it actually were legitimate. Wouldn't it be neat if you could feel someone's head, or maybe measure their forehead with some forceps, and tell whether they were a criminal or not? That would totally be both awesome and hilarious.
What got me thinking about pseudoscience was today's guest story at 50WS, which is about phrenology.
So what are some other pseudosciences, and if you could pick one to be legit, which would it be?
What I’m Doing For Lent, and Why
As I understand it, the concept of Lent is to give up something that takes you away from being close to God. Originally, Lent was a time for fasting: instead of preparing and eating meals, you spent that time praying and meditating on scripture, as a way to draw closer to God. The experience of Lent has obviously been somewhat cheapened from that original concept, but I think sacrificing other things can still be beneficial, as long as your heart is in the right place.
In the past, I've Lented from things like chocolate, and while I don't think that was necessarily a bad thing -- not eating chocolate can be a healthy choice, and every time I thought of eating chocolate it reminded me to think about God -- I don't think it was necessarily all that effective in doing what it was really supposed to do, either.
This year, I'm giving up something that often distracts me from what's important, and I'm hoping it will allow me to pay attention to what's really meaningful in life, which is a) God and b) the people around me. What is this thing?
My iPhone.
Ok, I'm not entirely fasting from my phone. What I'm actually doing is not allowing myself to use it for all those little things that keep me distracted over the course of the day. That includes things like Twitter and Facebook, random web browsing, checking hockey scores, games, and so on.
To help me accomplish this, I've moved all of my "forbidden" apps off of the main home screen of my phone, leaving only the simple utilities and the most useful core functions. Here they are:
These are the only iPhone apps I'm allowed to use during Lent.
I decided I needed to be able to use my phone for email, since that's related to the work I do at school, etc. And being able to keep grocery lists, to-do lists, and so on is pretty important for me. I may end up using Voice Memos to do interviews for my research, so that stays in, too.
To be clear, I'm still allowed to use Twitter and Facebook, just not on my phone. I'm trying to get away from the moments where there's a lull in conversation, or my mind wanders a little, and I click my phone on and absent-mindedly read what people are saying on Twitter and Facebook, or check that I have my fantasy hockey rosters picked. I can do those things on my computer when I'm at home; I don't need to do them when I'm in the middle of other things.
I'm hoping this will be a really positive time, and that some of the focus of my daily activities will change in a beneficial way.
Are you giving anything up for Lent? What are you giving up, and why?
Thesis Research
Last week I (finally) received approval from the Human Research Ethics Board to begin recruiting and interviewing participants for my thesis research. I've been in a holding pattern since basically mid-December on this, so it's great to be able to start moving forward again.
My next step, which I began to work on today, is to go looking for people who were involved with the anti-HST movement in some capacity, especially online. So today I started putting the word out a bit, to see if there are interested people out there, and we'll see over the next week or two what kind of interest that generates.
If all goes well, I'll be finished recruiting and interviewing people by the end of the month, but this kind of thing is completely unpredictable, so who knows what will happen.
Six-Minute Stories
About a month ago, while searching for some other microfiction or flash fiction websites, I came across a really cool site called Six Minute Story. The concept of the site is that you are shown a prompt -- either a quote, or an image, or something else -- and given six minutes to write a story based on it. Once the timer runs out, your story is locked in, and you are given the choice to officially submit it or start over with something new. The prompts change daily, and Fridays are for free-form writing with no prompts.
I've written four stories over there so far. You can read them here. I've trended towards dark and gloomy stories for some reason, and I think if I was given the opportunity to go back to them, I might add in a couple of words that would turn the tone into something more positive, but it's been a lot of fun, either way.
Try your hand at writing some stories. It's really challenging, but totally worthwhile. And the great thing is that if you don't end up with something you like, it's only taken you six minutes, so you can just do another one tomorrow!
I strongly recommend the site. Check it out.
Special People
Special People is serialized superhero fiction with a fistful of twists.
Special people have special problems.
BECOMING
The second quarter of the Year of Stories has arrived in print! BECOMING contains over 200 pages of great short stories for only $11.99. Order yours now.
DISCOVERY
Prefer the feel of paper to the look of a screen? DISCOVERY is the first quarterly Year of Stories print book. You get nearly 200 pages of exciting fiction for only $11.99! Grab your copy now.
Galloway’s Hunt
Galloway's Hunt is a novelette set in the world of Galloway's Voyage, my work-in-progress novel based on the same title character. Buy it now for only 99¢!
Losing Freight
Losing Freight is a serialized sci-fi novel where you get to vote on what happens next at the end of every page.