Tag Archives: wedding ring

League of Married Gentlemen: A Camping Trip — Am I Unworthy?

Larissa and I spent the weekend camping with some friends. Thanks for coming up with the idea, Dan, and I’m glad Nick and Jenny came along and brought their baby Isaac. We were at the Stoltz Pool campground along Cowichan River. It was a lot of fun. We had great food, including such camping staples as pancakes, hot dogs, and smores. We even invented smOreos, which is where you put a marshmallow and chocolate between two Oreo cookies (either before or after removing the icing; your call).

During the camping trip, I kept an eye out for any developing ring powers, of course. It’s hard for me to keep my mind off of what powers my wedding ring has to have given me. I really feel like they should have manifested by now. It’s been three-and-a-half months since we got married, after all.

Our tents all lined up in a row.

The first day we arrived, I thought I might be on to something. I only saw two or three mosquitoes, even though other people said they were getting lots of bites. But for the next two days, I was inflicted with my fair share of itchy bumps–thankfully not all that many, overall–so I don’t think my ring has granted me any insect immunity.

Cold water still feels cold to me, too. We went swimming (well, more like wading constantly against the current) on Sunday afternoon, and the water felt pretty chilly. It was a really hot day out, though, so it was nice to get cooled down. Then I sat on the rocky beach for a while and did some reading (I’m still working on A Tale of Two Cities), and my back got sunburned just like normal, so there’s nothing there, either.

At this point I’m really starting to feel like all of my leads turn out to be nothing, and I haven’t hit on anything solid. A few times over the weekend my ring actually felt loose, too, almost as though it was trying to slip off my finger. Maybe I’m not worthy of a ring power, and my ring is trying to abandon me!

I’m going to have to do something to make sure it never gets away from me. I think I know a guy I can talk to. I’m not ready to give up yet.

League of Married Gentlemen: Empathies and Married Women

This weekend Larissa and I spent some time at her family’s newly renovated cabin (or I guess we’re supposed to call it the “lake house” now) at Hatzic Lake, visiting with family and friends. While we were there, I decided to take the opportunity to explore a couple of potential ring powers that were suggested to me by Twitter followers.

My friend Andrew, who is himself a married man, recommended that I check whether my wedding ring has granted me any powers of animal empathy. This seemed like a real possibility, since my latest discovery had suggested some potential psychic abilities. In addition, @mikerpenny figured I might as well test for vegetable empathy at the same time. It never hurts to be thorough.

There's an aloof bald eagle in the middle of the picture. Honestly.

On Sunday morning, I went kayaking out on the lake with my brother-in-law, Darren. A bald eagle was circling high overhead. I took the opportunity to focus all of my mental energy on it, willing the bird to open itself up to me. I suggested that it fly down and hang out for a bit, so we could get to know each other better. I don’t think I got through to it, though: it just looped around for a bit, then flew away. So much for animal empathy. Further evidence: none of my psychic pleading seemed to sway the mosquitoes in the slightest. ITCHY ITCHY.

I chose to interpret “vegetable empathy” as referring to a connection with plant life in general, not just with carrots, beans, and broccoli. I found the opportunity to explore this line of abilities on Sunday afternoon, while playing with my niece, Adalia. We were chasing each other across the lawn, and I was using the time in-between the frequent chaser/chasee role reversals to cast my mind out amongst the vegetation, searching for an empathic connection.

Such a sad, brave tree, toppled over but still doing the best it can to grow.

I wasn’t really paying attention to where we were going, and when I brought my attention back to what was in front of me, I saw a big fallen tree, partially uprooted but still fighting and growing. I figured if I couldn’t pick up some emotion from that barely living heap of inspirational tragedy, I wasn’t going to be able to connect to anything ever.

I squinted and grimaced and subvocalized and rubbed my temples and got nothing at all.

Apparently I’m just not all that empathic, not psychically so, anyways. Scratch a couple more options off the list.

Despite my failures, later that evening I did end up learning something very interesting. Some of our married friends were visiting, and one of the ladies–Larissa’s friend Megan–revealed that over the last few years, she had been having a hard time seeing certain things. Specifically, her mind seemed to be filtering out anything ugly.

I’ve been wondering why I hadn’t heard anything about the effects of wedding rings on married women. I mean, men have a League and everything. Now I’m thinking it might be because while men get special powers and abilities, women’s wedding rings may take away some of their prior capabilities. Other than the ability to see ugly things, how else might wedding rings affect the women who wear them? Physical weakness? Forgetfulness? This opens up a whole new line of enquiry!

As always, I’ll let you know what else I’m able to discover as my explorations continue.

The League of Married Gentlemen: More Data Needed

Ever since I got married on April 30 and first put on my wedding ring, thereby joining the prestigious League of Married Gentlemen, I’ve been diligently watching and waiting for my new powers to manifest themselves. As noted in this previous post, so far there’s been nothing doing.

Ring powers: go!
I joined the League of Married Gentlemen. But where are my Ring Powers!?

I’ve realized I’m probably going to have to pay closer attention. Maybe my ring’s powers are more subtle than I had expected. So I’ve begun cataloguing relevant events and experiences. Hopefully this data will provide me with clues that will help me unravel the mystery of my as yet unknown abilities.

So far, I’m pretty sure that my skin hasn’t developed any added toughness. I haven’t noticed any improved healing speed, either. One or both of those would have been great, but c’est la vie.

Today I gathered some strong evidence that my wrist strength and agility haven’t been positively affected. I played a couple of sets of tennis with my brother, Jordan, and he defeated me handily, with scores of 6-1, 6-3. That’s hardly conclusive, but it is suggestive. I think I’ll focus my attention elsewhere for now.

I’ll keep you posted as new patterns emerge. I’m going to solve this thing.

One Month In

Tomorrow Larissa and I will have been married for one month. It’s flown by, and been full of so much, so I wanted to just briefly reflect on things.

There are a couple of things that stand out from the wedding and the settling-in period afterwards. It’s been amazing how incredibly generous everyone has been to us. Our living room has been piled full of presents twice–once with gifts received prior to the wedding, and once with gifts we picked up after the honeymoon. It’s been really exciting opening everything up and seeing all of the new things that we can call “ours” now. It really makes home feel more like our home. Our recycling pile outside the front door is massive, though!

During the wedding itself, too, we had so many helping hands making everything go smoothly, and that was really appreciated. We had a really great day and were able to relax and just enjoy it all. Thank you to everyone who helped in some capacity.

One complaint I have so far is that my ring still hasn’t manifested any magical powers. I mean, I wasn’t counting on invisibility or anything, but a bit of added speed or agility would have been nice. Maybe some mind control. Breathing underwater?

Perhaps it’s still lying dormant. Has anyone had to wait until their first anniversary to unlock their powers? I can be patient if I have to, I guess.