Tag Archives: League of Married Gentlemen

League of Married Gentlemen: Productivity Would Be the Lamest Power

It’s possible I’ve come across a lead in my quest to uncover the powers granted to me by my recently acquired wedding ring, but I’m actually kind of hoping I haven’t, because if I have, then my power is super lame.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/TimSevenhuysen/status/84779803831566336″]

You see, so far today I have

  1. Restrung my acoustic guitar,
  2. Prepared the powerpoint file with the lyrics for worship in church tomorrow,
  3. Marked a final exam,
  4. Brought out the compost, and
  5. Written this blog post.

I also intend to do an initial analytical pass through one of the interviews for my thesis research. Coding is fun!

As far as I’m concerned, that list makes this a decently productive kind of day.

Maybe productivity is one of the abilities granted to me by my new wedding ring. I’ll have to do some searching through the League of Married Gentlemen’s databases and see if anyone has ever been granted increases to productivity before. Seems kind of mundane for a ring power, but who am I to judge?

If it is my ring power, it’s only showing up in brief spurts, here and there. I’ll have to put some work into harnessing it. There’s all kinds of potential for irony in that scenario…

League of Married Gentlemen: Dead Animal Powers

Last weekend, my wife and I travelled to Nanaimo to visit with my parents. During that trip I observed some things that may suggest a new affinity for dead animals. Could this be the new power my wedding ring is granting me?

This brave little guy (or girl) hung on at speeds over 100 km/h!

The first clue was when we got in the car and noticed that a ladybug had landed on the windshield. As we pulled out, it hung on. I wanted to see how long it would stay, so I kept my eye on it during the drive.

Several minutes later, we made it to the highway, and before long we encountered our first roadkill. Then we found some more. And some more. Over the course of the ninety-minute drive we spotted at least four separate instances of roadkill, at least two-and-a-half of which were raccoons. (The rest were unidentifiable).

During the drive, I kept peeking at our ladybug friend, and he (or she?) was doing great, holding on for dear life at speeds of over 100 km/h. I was really impressed.

Turned out he (or she) just got stuck and died.

Until we arrived and got out of the car, and I approached him for congratulations and a photo op and discovered that he was dead.

Based on these experiences, I’m wondering if the power of my ring might not be related to animal death. That could be interesting. A little weird, though. What would it allow me to do? Maybe talk to animal ghosts? Avenge them? See their deaths before they happen?

It’s intriguing, for sure. Not necessarily my first choice, but I’m going to keep this avenue of exploration open.

Of course, our trip involved plenty of still-living animals, too, so maybe it’s just an animal thing in general, and isn’t related to their “life status.”

Kitties and duckies and Larissa!

I’m not sure about any of this yet. Time–and alert observation–will tell.

Hopefully.

The League of Married Gentlemen: More Data Needed

Ever since I got married on April 30 and first put on my wedding ring, thereby joining the prestigious League of Married Gentlemen, I’ve been diligently watching and waiting for my new powers to manifest themselves. As noted in this previous post, so far there’s been nothing doing.

Ring powers: go!
I joined the League of Married Gentlemen. But where are my Ring Powers!?

I’ve realized I’m probably going to have to pay closer attention. Maybe my ring’s powers are more subtle than I had expected. So I’ve begun cataloguing relevant events and experiences. Hopefully this data will provide me with clues that will help me unravel the mystery of my as yet unknown abilities.

So far, I’m pretty sure that my skin hasn’t developed any added toughness. I haven’t noticed any improved healing speed, either. One or both of those would have been great, but c’est la vie.

Today I gathered some strong evidence that my wrist strength and agility haven’t been positively affected. I played a couple of sets of tennis with my brother, Jordan, and he defeated me handily, with scores of 6-1, 6-3. That’s hardly conclusive, but it is suggestive. I think I’ll focus my attention elsewhere for now.

I’ll keep you posted as new patterns emerge. I’m going to solve this thing.